Twenty-Three More

I remember the day of my wedding fondly but faintly. I remember gathering with the men (boys really) in a room behind the sanctuary. The minister sitting at ease with numerous such occasions behind him. The brother of the bride cornered me in the bathroom for the requisite, "if you hurt her" speech. All the while I was pacing back and forth with anticipation and trepidation. The late April skies heavy with signs of spring. Crowd gathering and music playing. We walked out to the front of the church and I noticed the sun was not shinning through the magnificent stained glass as I had hoped. The sanctuary decorated modestly but lovingly added an air of consequence to the moment. I saw a few familiar faces all with the same questions on them that were going through my mind. What are we doing here? Is this the right thing? Is this the right time? Am I right for her? Is she right for me? Isn't there anything else we could be doing today? Maybe just being the kids we are and not making a big deal of life. Maybe we could just...

And then the music changed and the anticipation grew. I saw my beautiful bride-to-be through the opening doors at the back of my childhood church. All the memories of the Christmases and Easters and running around unfettered were at once replaced with the image of my love staring back at me. The timeless and elegant words of the vows and pledges that we recited were wholly lost on me as I gazed into the eyes of the woman before me. I had little concept of God's providence at the time. I had even less understanding of all it took to get her to walk into that room where I sat on the couch watching  TV so many years before. With hindsight I can say that the woman before me that day was the woman God had divinely appointed for me to be with forever from the beginning of time. But, on that day, all I could think of was how crazy it was to be there with her.

Although we both seemed to age twenty years in twenty minutes, twenty three years later I have the same feeling! Only now it's, how crazy she is for being here with me! We've had our ups and downs; our doubts and questions. We've wondered silently alone and out-loud together (sometimes very loud!) those same questions as the first day of our marriage. But, through it all, God has taught us that what really matters is US, not me, not her, not even we, but US. Together we are who we are now. Apart we wouldn't even know how to function. She is long term memory; I am short term. She is detail; I am big picture. She is spontaneity and whimsy; I am habit (mostly bad) and practical. Together we make US.

To all those fighting to say independent in a marriage; give it up! Be US together with you spouse and live life dependent on God and dependent on each other; it's better that way!


"This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." (Gen 2:24 NLT)

I am absolutely looking forward to twenty-three, and more, years with my childhood sweetheart. Looking more forward to those years than the last twenty-three. Why? Because I know about US. I know about all of the ways we complement, counsel, and coerce each other. I know about all we will do together in the next twenty-three; add a son-in-law and daughter-in-law, watch our children navigate the same terrain we did (hopefully with more skill and grace then we did), welcome grandchildren into the world (4-6 is a good number), love people with the love of the Lord and the wisdom and experience of the first twenty-three, and, some day, sit back and look with awe and wonder at all that God has done with out humble beginnings and troubled hearts.

It is physically impossible to express the fullness of my gratitude to God for giving me my wife and to my wife for hanging in there with me. We made it this far, we can do anything with God and each other!

The Vine

Why can’t my soul find rest? Why do the questions keep coming? There is the steady question of who I am and what I am meant for. There is the question of what people think of me; do they approve, do they see me, do they look right past me without pause? Oh, the pride with which one must deal as the questions of significance and purpose flood the soul! The pride of the very question, “do they see me?” is astounding. It’s as if the entire world must revolve around my life, my purpose, my feelings, my path or I have no value. To even say it is nauseating! How can a person think such thoughts?

Is there any connection to the mind of Christ in me at all? No thought would ever have crossed the Son of God’s mind; His every thought from birth was for others and how he could serve them. John the Baptist nearly refused to baptize his cousin, but Jesus insisted. John new it was time for Jesus to take center stage (I must decrease and Jesus increase he said), but Jesus insisted that the messenger deliver the message! Jesus didn’t walk up to John and stand there until he killed the fatted calf and brought out the barrels of wine; he waded into the water with him and humbled himself to be washed by Elijah.

Is that the key? Humility? How does one find such humility? How do the internal struggles cease and become outward signs, fruit, of the life in Christ? Jesus said we must remain in Him. An active verb that seems to be passive at first, but a passive verb is one where the subject is being acted upon, not where the subject is passive in the sentence. So, remaining in, abiding in, enduring in, living in, staying in, persevering in, or continuing in Christ is active in both the English and Greek languages and in practice. I must act to abide in Christ. He, almost promisingly says, I abide in you. Not I will abide in you, but, due to the fact that we are already clean because of the word spoken to us, He abides in us. It is a statement of truth, of fact, and so, being it is Jesus, it is as good as a promise; we can count on the fact that he abides in us. And, if we abide in him, we will bear much fruit. The picture is clear. The branch is intrinsically the vine, there is no distinction between the two as long as the connection remains. Once separated the divergence is obvious. The branch ceases to be what the vine is, it can neither give nor bear life, it cannot sustain its life nor the life of anything that would have grown from it were it connected to the vine. The life that flowed so powerfully and naturally from the vine is lost, it is absent, it is no longer with the branch because it never was with the branch it was always and only with the vine.

The fruit of my thoughts disconnected from the vine (Jesus) are of my own, they are neither life producing nor life giving, I cannot produce life in and of myself. My thoughts turn to myself therefore and only of myself when I remove myself from the life producing essence of Jesus. He hasn’t removed himself from me, yet I have distanced myself from him and his creative powers. Humility in light of this is to understand, realize, admit, that life giving and life producing thought and action comes only from the connection Jesus willingly offers to us. It’s as if he is taking us by the shoulder, wading out into the water with us, looking us in the eye and saying, “If I can humble myself to the point of the cross, surely you can humble yourself to stay connected to me and not try to do this thing on your own.” 

See John 15

Honestly

Honestly, I want to be that guy whose cell phone never stops ringing, whose email blows up all the time, that people are begging to write another book, give another talk, come share his wisdom with their group non-stop. I want to be the golden boy who rides in million-dollar airplanes and limousines from one meeting, engagement, talk, and book signing to the next. I want to be a world changer from sun up to sunset from Sunday to Sunday.

Is it prideful? YES! How do I know it’s pride and not just ambition? Because I’m disappointed and discouraged that I am not that guy. I’m the other guy.

The guy who looks and looks for opportunity but never finds it because he is always looking and never stopping to see it.  The guy who over exaggerates his failures to compensate for what he feels is laziness or ineptness. The guy who sees the other guy and is jealous of what he has without stopping to see how God could use him if he would only stop watching the other guy. The guy who is guilty of the other kind of pride, the pride that says God can’t do anything with me.

And so…rather than run ahead again for the hundredth time in my life and knock on, no kick down, the door, I will wait patiently on God, get to know Him and His Son better, learn to really listen to the Holy Spirit and not put words in his mouth, and pray for the small moments to add up to life change; my life first, and whoever else God puts in it to change along with me - not because of me.

But that’s not me; not who I am. So, it can’t come from the same old habits, sitting and struggling and then, in a moment of bravery, bounding out the door to save the world when no one has seen me care. No, it will have to come from one little step every day, closer to being conformed into His image, closer to thinking with His mind, closer to reacting out of the character He has birthed in me. It will have to come from a consistent and constant understanding that what He wants and needs from me is being not doing.

Anyone can do things, anyone can talk, write, give, declare, disseminate wisdom. Anyone can write a song, write a story, have whatever worldly success is. What He needs form me is not a golden boy to dominate the landscape with more Christian dogma. What He needs from me is humility. Humility that yields human will, emotions, and intellect to a spirit unleashed by conformity to the word of God, the two-edged sword, on people he has prepared for me to engage with his love; unconditional love. By allowing his word to “[cut] between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. [To] expose [my] innermost thoughts and desires. [So that n]othing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom [I am] accountable” (Heb 4-12-13 NLT) I will see life change.

As Sweet As Honey

We are often told to concentrate on and rely on the Bible. There are many ways to do this and many pictures that are used to describe God's desire for us to completely know and understand His testimony. However, two of God's prophets are said to have consumed the Word of the Lord literally. Ezekiel was instructed by God to take the scroll before him and eat it. Jeremiah simply found it so enticing he could not resist eating it. In both cases the picture of God's servant actually ingesting the Word of God is powerful. 


I believe that the only picture that synthesizes two separate entities more is that of marriage. Eating something is not just ingesting it and riding oneself of what is left over (I'll leave the rest to your imagination).  There is a plethora of activity that takes place once we have taken food in through our mouths. We begin by digesting the food with acids in the stomach. Then our body absorbs the nutrients that are derived from the specifics types of food. We are nourished, revived, replenished, and even added to as we grow from these elements. And my knowledge of biology can only take us so far, but the microbiology that takes place in the blood system, lymph system, and others is a whole other world! Imagine being able to unite the Word of God to our minds and bodies in such a way.


But we have only one directive in this process just as with eating food and with Ezekiel's task from God. Ezekiel was told (see ch 3) to eat the scroll and wait for God's timing in speaking the words to His people. He is actually allowed to be taken captive in order for God to perfect the audience and timing of the revelation. All Ezekiel had to do was eat and obey; God did the rest! God did the rest! God did the rest!


Eat his word today, wait for his timing in your life, and see if God won't do something awesome as you do!

Insightful Love

Philippians 1:9-11 "And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment,so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God."

One of the greatest characteristics a Christian can allow God to produce in them is love. Christ's assessment of the law of God being boiled down to the two most important consisted really of one vital characteristic; love. One cannot have a life modeled after Jesus without it. One cannot expect to engage God without it. One cannot have make a difference in others without it.


We, however, too often make love about what we see in the movies; all sentiment, gushing emotion, and reckless abandon. Paul does not see the kind of love that represents the nature of God in Christ this way. Rather, he prays for the Philippians to have love that is full of knowledge and discernment. A love that distinguishes between righteous and unrighteous fruit. 


Paul's prayer offers a "circle of life" perspective. As we are filled with insightful love, we are able to distinguish between righteous and unrighteous fruit. Then we can allow God to prune away the unrighteous leaving room for growth in insightful love which in turn produces more righteous fruit. The love of God is a love that requires action. "If you love me you will obey me." But, by loving God, the Holy Spirit produce the fruit that allows us to obey Him. He never asks us to obey without giving us the power to do so!


Love, in God's economy, is abandon; just not reckless. It is sentiment; just not sentiment only. It is gushing; just not without thought. 


Father, let us grow more and more in love that is insightful and produces righteous fruit!

A Validating Life

Philippians 1:7-8 It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart and, whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me. 8 God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.


One word jumps off the page to me as I read this passage; confirm. We often make it our business to "defend the gospel" as Paul puts it. But, what about confirming the gospel? Is that our obligation as Christians? I feel we should look at it from two directions: 1. We are obligated to confirm the message Jesus left with us. It is not enough to preach it, it needs to be validated as well. 2. As we live the life God has called us to, we will validate the gospel. How do we do this?


1. Confirming that Jesus is the Son of God as we see miracles and power in our lives through prayer to Him and prayer for others.


2. Confirming that Jesus died for this world by living a life that represents righteousness. This can only be done with the help of the holy Spirit as none of us are nor ever will be perfect! the Fruit of the Spirit gives life to our desire to confirm Jesus death.


3. Confirming that Jesus rose from the grave by living for the hope of heaven and its treasure and not the temptation of earth and her treasure.


Confirming Jesus gospel means living what we believe. True belief is shown in actions that align with our thoughts. The fruit of the Spirit is the gospel confirmed in our lives. Let us not simply defend the gospel but confirm it also by our lives lived for him.

Proper Instruction

1 Timothy 1:5 But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.


It is important to Paul that the teachers in his wake are pure doctrinally and spiritually. He give Timothy a specific template for dealing with those who are not. There teaching was likely disrupting the assemblies and causing some to loose faith. Paul then tells Timothy the real goal of our teaching.


First it is to be informed by love and faith. Paul often used these words in conjunction in the Pastoral Epistles. He wanted to make sure that those teaching in the churches he planted, and universally for that matter, were those who had a knowledge of the subject and lived according to their teaching. Taken separately, these two terms have great meaning in themselves. Especially when the adjective sincere is placed with faith. It is a faith that seeks only the truth and righteousness of God. Love can be seen to define the entirety of our goal for teaching; teach with love and all else will fall into place. We will not need to worry about our motive or lazy study if we act with love in our practices. Combined, these two words take on the meaning of St. Francis of Assisi's famous quote, "Preach the gospel at all times, if necessary use words." Paul intends for us to not just be "hearers." We must be the example of how the Word of God (and if we continue reading Timothy, the Law of God) is practical in our lives. 


Second, our teaching/instruction (the NIV says command) is to be guided by a pure heart/good conscience. Again, the two phrases have great meaning apart from one another. Pure heart can mean sin cleansed or having a pure motive. To teach with a pure motive is quite important so we do not fall into the trap of being self-serving and out for personal gain alone. The "workman is deserving of his wages," but not at the expense of purity of content or growth of the student. Good conscience is used by Paul elsewhere to connote his own freedom from guilt over past sin. Together they have a greater meaning of one who has the cognitive grasp of his/her own salvation and subsequent freedom from sin and guilt. To be so, one must indeed have asked for that forgiveness and cleansing. Paul asserts then that a teacher must be one who is aware of his/her transition from sinner to saint. As one having a relationship with the giver of the Word and is the Word before attempting to instruct others in the meaning and application of said Word.


Paul's wish then is that instruction should come from a person who has been taught, seeks the truth always, endeavors to glorify God and see others grow while steering away from selfish motive, has asked for forgiveness and seeks to live according to his/her own teaching, does not fear the past in sin or guilt in rising to the challenge of a teacher, and is a continual learner themselves. See James 3:1